Time to Care

Being Neighbourly x Brian Henderson, Whole Business Wellness Ltd

Author/ Being Neighbourly
28 April 2025

Hot on the heels of the release of the Netflix limited series, Adolescence, and its narrative of involuntary celibacy and toxic masculinity, better understanding of men and boys –for men and women’s sake is crucial.

An ally in this crusade, who is spearheading male care in Hong Kong, is Brian Henderson, Founder of MoveMEN!, a group affiliated with Whole Business Wellness (which is a business of Henderson).

“Boys and men are conditioned by society (parents and grandparents, teachers, siblings, friends, social media) to be strong, to be achievement-oriented, to protect and provide financially for their family, to suppress emotions except anger and frustration, to suppress their feminine side, to be independent,” says Henderson, reeling off the many pressures faced by males.

But, according to him, these are unrealistic expectations that place a heavy burden on men and result in the bottling-up of emotions, which can emerge as aggressive, violent, addictive or abusive behaviour.

Leading from Experience

In 2020, Brian Henderson, then Chief Operating Officer of a major international law firm, suffered a serious burnout and had to quit his job. He had been working with lawyers for 30 years, but experienced “a perfect storm” of several very stressful things on top of each other over a 1.5 year period. “At some point, my healthy lifestyle was no longer enough and I needed professional help – medication and therapy,” he shares, adding that it took him 18 months to recover. Once he was feeling better, he created Whole Business Wellness Ltd., and, subsequently, the affiliated MoveMEN! group, to help leaders create cultures that work; and to help men work on themselves.

Henderson says that women may, unwittingly, be contributing to the masculine conditioning of boys. “‘Big boys don’t cry’, ‘man-up’, ‘stand up for yourself’, are examples of conditioning that women do just as much as men,” he explains, adding that women want their boys to succeed in the world of men, so they push them to conform to society’s expectations of masculinity.

“It’s nobody’s fault, but everyone’s responsibility to be aware of this conditioning and to allow boys to stay in touch with and express their softer side as they grow up,” he says.

MoveMEN! is a growing movement and community for like-minded men. “The play on words is intentional. It is also a play on the word ‘move’ because a lot of the work we do is emotionally moving, liberating, cathartic. You cannot help but be moved by some of the stories and insights that come up in this space.”

MoveMEN! counts a circle of about 125 men, of which 80 have been actively engaged in their events over the past 16 months,” says Henderson, adding that their “sweet spot” is men aged 35-55, but that they have men in their 70s and in their 20s. “It is a very diverse group in many other ways too – ethnicity, religion, sexuality, neurodiversity, body shape, ability, skin colour and more. Some are corporate warriors, some are stay-at-home dads, many are solo-preneurs, he says conjuring up memories of another creative work, this time, the endearing, 2018 British film, Swimming with Men.

MoveMEN! is a space for men to support each other through life’s ups and downs using movement, meditation and mindful dialogue. Henderson says he created it because, “men generally don’t have spaces where they can be vulnerable and authentic with other men and explore their emotional experience in a deeper way, whereas women generally have other spaces with close friends and even colleagues to process emotions”.

How to Support Men in Your Life

“One of the most toxic aspects of masculine conditioning is conditional love,” says Brian Henderson. In other words that a man is only worthy of love if he provides, succeeds, is strong and resilient. “This conditionality does so much harm to boys and men.” According to him, there are various ways women can support their male partners, relatives and friends.

1. Encourage men to talk about their emotions
2. Explore what lies behind men’s feelings, their anger and frustration.
3. Learn that men have human needs that traditional masculinities make it difficult for them to have met.
4. Parents can acknowledge that it is not always easy to be a boy and offer their boys compassion, validation and unconditional love.

“Men lack those spaces and they also lack confidence relating to, exploring and expressing their emotional experience,” he explains.

Shedding insight into typical proceedings, participants can expect to be guided through an exploration of their emotions, how they show up in the body, how they are thinking, what stories they are believing, where their conditioned patterns of behaviour in certain situations come from and how their behaviour affects them and their relationships at home, at work or socially. “It can be very profound and transformative work. Perhaps the most powerful aspect of our process is the deep connection we create even with complete strangers as we work through our very human and shared experiences,” he shares.

“Our values guide our behaviours in the group: kindness matters; authenticity and vulnerability make us stronger; we learn together,” he says, adding that the behavioural guidelines are civility (respectful behaviour and speech, confidentiality, kindness to ourselves and others); curiosity (give it a go, non-judgment, open mind); generosity (be engaged and fully present, giving and receiving, in it together); authenticity (speak from your own experience only, no advising or fixing others). “Simple rules, but they powerfully create a brave and safe space for the introspective work we do.”

Give It a Go

MoveMEN! sessions run every two weeks, plus a quarterly half-day retreat. The sessions address some of the issues men face: relationship tensions; parenting anxiety or guilt; financial worries; career transitions; managing strong emotions like anger, resentment, fear; limiting beliefs; managing stress; connecting more deeply with others. “We use movement to help us relax and connect with our body, where all our emotions arise,” says Henderson, adding that payment is kept intentionally low or waived if the man in question, is unemployed.

According to Henderson, a male-only space makes it feel safer for men to be vulnerable and go deeper. “It’s a beautiful thing to witness, and their partners notice the difference it makes,” he shares, adding that MoveMEN! group members are all kind, generous, loving human beings, who want to feel better in themselves so they can be better for others.

“A big part of our impact through MoveMEN! is to help men be better fathers, sons, partners, colleagues, members of society. Men feeling better about themselves makes the world better for everyone. Meeting men with compassion, respect and non-judgment is critical to engaging and supporting them. It’s such a privilege to work with them all.”

Brian Henderson
Whole Business Wellness Ltd.