This April, I will celebrate 22 years in Hong Kong! And yet, I’ve never experienced first hand a family Lunar New Year celebration (that’s because I was never part of a mixed couple).

I have however heard many stories from clients over the years – especially those that called over the holidays for ‘emergency sessions’ designed to repair conflicts that (almost inevitably) surfaced during these ‘happy times”. Here’s my take on what could happen and a few tips to handle it elegantly.

Imagine this setting: The family is gathered together for the Lunar New Year celebration. The table is loaded with traditional dishes that fill the air with their aroma, the air is thick with laughter and Cantonese you do not understand, and a well-meaning relative is asking—for the third time—if you’ve learned to use chopsticks yet. This is only the beginning of a lot of potential awkward moments if you are meeting the extended family for the first time.

For many mixed couples I know, this quintessential season of family reunion can feel less like a celebration and more like a high-stakes cultural immersion trip, where love is tested not by grand gestures, but by the weight of a red packet.

The tensions are often invisible to the family hosting you. It’s the anxiety of your partner, who is simultaneously your translator, your cultural shield, and their parents’ child, pulled in three directions. It’s the silent calculation: Do we give a red packet? To whom? How much? It’s the fatigue of smiling through stories you don’t fully grasp, and the guilt you feel for wanting to be somewhere far away. You’re not just navigating a party; you’re navigating centuries of tradition, familial duty, and a complex economy of respect that may be completely unfamiliar to you – especially if you come from a European culture.

But within these challenges lies a profound opportunity—not just to survive, but to build a unique bridge between your worlds.