Navigating Holiday Blues

Our Dr. Love, Valentina Tudose, exposes the difficulty of the Christmas season for many.

Author/ Valentina Tudose
15 December 2025

Hong Kong in December doesn’t snow, but it sparkles relentlessly. Fake Christmas trees appear at every corner, malls blast carols even before Thanksgiving and the buildings facing the harbour are covered in shiny winter motifs while we’re still sweating in shorts. Everywhere you turn, the message is the same: …‘tis the most wonderful time of the year.’

But what if it doesn’t feel wonderful at all?

For many of us though, December amplifies a quiet, aching loneliness that has little to do with being physically alone—and everything to do with feeling unseen in a world that insists on joy. Maybe you’re single, while everyone around you is coupling up. Maybe you’re newly separated, and the holiday rituals you once shared now echo in an empty flat. Maybe you’re surrounded by family, but feel emotionally miles away. Or maybe you’re simply exhausted—too tired for cheer, too raw for forced happiness.

I’ve sat with clients this month who describe the holidays as ‘emotional whiplash.’ One woman told me, ‘I scroll through Instagram and feel like the only person not baking cookies with my partner or flying home to snowy reunions.’ A man in his 50s, recently divorced, said, ‘The city feels like a party I wasn’t invited to.’

And yet—here’s the truth we rarely admit: we all feel a bit of this emptiness we’re trying to cover under a forced smile. Feeling lonely and lost during the holidays isn’t a sign that something’s wrong with you. It’s a sign that you’re human.

Our city, for all its dazzle, can be an isolating place. We live in stacked boxes, commute in sullen crowds, staring at their phones, and often carry our heaviest emotions behind polite smiles. Add the pressure to perform happiness – to attend office parties, host fabulous dinners, post festive photos – and the result isn’t joy, but emotional fatigue.

So what if, this December, we gave ourselves permission to feel what we actually feel?

Instead of fighting loneliness, what if we met it with kindness? Here are some suggestions if you are alone/lonely this Christmas.

1. Create your own ritual: Light a candle and write one letter to yourself—not to fix anything, but to say, ‘I see you. This is hard.’ Then watch a funny Christmas movie – Bridget Jones Diary is my all-time favourite.
2. Redefine ‘togetherness’: Call an old friend just to hear their voice or watch a movie together on Zoom (if we could do it during Covid, why stop now?). Or even better, join a fun community event—a tai chi or dance class in the Sun Yat Sen park, a midnight carol singalong in St. John’s Cathedral. Connection doesn’t have to be grand to be healing.
3. Set gentle boundaries: Say no to the party that drains you. Skip the family gathering that triggers old wounds. Protect your peace like the sacred gift it is.

And if you’re alone this season – truly alone – remember: solitude and loneliness are not the same thing. Solitude can be a gift, a sanctuary. Cook your favourite meal and don’t skip desert. Take a long walk along the harbour at night – it’s inclusive without being overwhelming. Let the city’s hum be your lullaby.

The holidays don’t owe you joy. And you don’t owe the world a performance of it.

This December, may you give yourself what no glittering display ever could: the quiet certainty that you are enough—exactly as you are, exactly where you are.

Because sometimes, the most loving thing we can do is stop pretending—and finally come home to ourselves.

About the Author

Valentina Tudose

Valentina Tudose is the founder of Happy Ever After, which specializes in Relationship Coaching and Clinical Hypnotherapy. She is a qualified Singles and Couples Coach with the Relationship Coaching Institute of San Jose, California. She has additional certifications as a Clinical Hypnotherapist and NLP Master Practitioner.

www.happyeverafter.asia.