How to Date in Hong Kong

Our Dr. Love, Valentina Tudose shares the good, bad and ugly of dating apps vs. meeting IRL to find love in the SAR.

Author/ Valentina Tudose
2 June 2025

Dating in Hong Kong is like playing Tetris on expert mode—juggling long hours, tiny apartments, and, sometimes, co-living with parents who do a great job at adding the pressure to “settle down”.

Even without parents in tow, finding love in the 21^st century is a lot more complicated than the charming stories of old.

‘Swipe fatigue’ is real, and organic encounters feel impossible when everyone’s buried in their phones and brainwashed by unrealistic ‘#couplesgoals’.

So how do you find love without losing your sanity—or yourself?

The first-stop is downloading the ubiquitous dating apps. Not because they are the best place to find love, but because they are certainly the most convenient. Love them or hate them, the fact that you have a catalogue of singles looking for love at your fingertips gives you at least an idea of what’s out there in terms of options.

The Good

Great for practicing fundamental dating skills like screening which enables you to filter the potential matches by dealbreakers, without the awkwardness of feeling like the bad guy (or, gal) when it’s clear it’s a no-go. To win, get really clear before you start about what your non-negotiables are and don’t stick around if they are not met.

The Bad

The “Thank You, Next!’ mindset. Even if you happen to match someone decent, it is hard to fully invest in any connection when you hope your ‘perfect match’ is hiding behind the next swipe. Remember that relationships don’t happen to you, they are co-created by their partners. So, instead of chasing perfection and ticking boxes from a list, focus on how you feel around the person and listen to your intuition.

The Ugly

Sadly, Hong Kong seems to be the world capital of catfishing. This could be something to do with the ‘leftover women’ phenomenon, which increases the pressure to find someone to settle down with. Stay vigilant about that 6’2” finance guy. He might be a 5’7” insurance agent with a very old photo, or a scammer trying to get you to invest in crypto. To stay safe, keep your eyes peeled for inconsistencies in their stories and don’t become invested until you meet in real life.

You could choose to put yourself out there by meeting people the old fashion way – in real life.

You’ll immediately be able to tell if there is connection and attraction. You might even start with instant common ground if you’re meeting in a ‘passion venue’, like a Hyrox gym or a wine tasting. The Added Bonus? Authenticity: No curated bios and background checking when meeting face to face – just good vibes (and sometimes lots of sweat).

But, all this may be easier said than done, given the “Busy” disease that affects most people around here. Striking up conversations is tough when everyone’s rushing, so start by working on your social skills to make meeting people natural and easy. You may also need to proactively expand your circles, as it can be that not being in finance or law, meeting new people is harder.

About the Author

Valentina Tudose

Valentina Tudose is the founder of Happy Ever After, which specializes in Relationship Coaching and Clinical Hypnotherapy. She is a qualified Singles and Couples Coach with the Relationship Coaching Institute of San Jose, California. She has additional certifications as a Clinical Hypnotherapist and NLP Master Practitioner.

www.happyeverafter.asia.