Bringing Out the Best in Each Other

How to Date in Hong Kong (Without losing yourself)

Author/ Valentina Tudose
1 September 2025

A thriving relationship isn’t about finding the ‘perfect’ partner—it’s about creating an environment where you both evolve, ideally towards the same vision of a happy future. But how do you inspire growth without controlling, criticizing, or keeping score?

A lot of the work I do with couples is around joint growth strategies so here are a few tips on how to nurture each other’s potential while staying deeply connected and without forgetting to respect each other’s individuality.

Approach people as people-growing machines

Our romantic partners are mirrors that reveal our hidden wounds, but also our hidden potential. In every conflict, there is an unspoken need and also an opportunity for self-discovery. When you and your partner encounter relationship difficulties, it is time to ask yourself, ‘What is this situation trying to teach me?’

By reflecting on what is causing your discomfort – and by taking responsibility for your side of the story, you can evolve into a new version of yourself and inspire your partner to do the same. After all, growing together is the only thing that keeps you from growing apart.

Be the change you want to see

There is nothing more damaging to a connection than judgement and criticism. I know, I know, you mean well! You’re only trying to get them to improve. (After all, you yourself probably grew up being told that you could do nothing right, no matter what you actually did. Does this sound familiar?).

Instead of saying “You should work out more,” try: “I’ve been loving my morning runs—want to join me Saturday?”, or replace “Why am I always the one doing all the cooking?” with “How do you feel about a cooking class while we’re on holiday in Thailand?”

Remember: Growth is contagious when modelled, not demanded.

Celebrate effort, not just results

Few of us grew up in a positive reinforcement culture where it wasn’t all about achievements and results. We all know how we felt when we were compared to others or were given ultimatums under threat of severe punishments. We all carry these wounds, so show empathy towards each other’s struggles to be the best.

Give your partner a thumbs up, even when they are only half way there: “I noticed how hard you’ve been working on your patience—and it’s really impressive.” It will go a very long way.

Most importantly, ask yourself: “Am I helping my partner grow into who THEY want to be—or who I want them to be?” Let go of any assumptions you might have, that you know what is best for your partner and choose collaboration and open communication instead. You may be surprised at what happens next.

Special bonus

Love languages-in-action, because support looks different for everyone:

Words of Affirmation: “I believe in you”, “I’m proud of you” notes.
Acts of Service: Taking over chores when your partner is studying or finishing a project
Quality Time: Attending your partner’s hobby class together.
Physical Touch: A hug after a tough day speaks louder than advice.

About the Author

Valentina Tudose

Valentina Tudose is the founder of Happy Ever After, which specializes in Relationship Coaching and Clinical Hypnotherapy. She is qualified as a Singles and Couples Coach with the Relationship Coaching Institute of San Jose, California. She has additional certifications as a Clinical Hypnotherapist and NLP Master Practitioner.

www.happyeverafter.asia.